The Apple Pan
10801 Pico Blvd
Across the street from the Westside Pavillion
(310) 475-3585
$
Ah, the Apple Pan. A venerable institution in this fair city of Los Angeles.

For about 80 years now, this itty-bitty little burger joint has been feeding hungry people on the West side, and nowhere is it more apparent than behind the counter, where gruff old men take your order with nothing more than a nod.

It would be remiss to do a competition for Best Burger in LA without mentioning this place (especially considering the sheer number of you people out there clamoring for it). So here it is!

I’ve only ever eaten at the Apple Pan a handful of times, and this is despite having spent the bulk of my primary education right down the street from there on Overland (no, not the Catholic Girl’s School). Why is that?

The place is nothing more than a counter around the kitchen area. When a line forms, which invariably happens most of the time, customers stand along the wall. In fact, the whole place smacks of Depression-era minimalism and efficiency: people are here for a simple, quick and cheap meal. No seats for those waiting, no plates, nothing more than exactly what you need.

It has a certain rough charm, an anachronistic aura that adds to the atmosphere (or is the atmosphere?). The sodas are served to you in a metal tin holding a paper cone. Cute!

But really, it all boils down to the burger. I mean that’s why I’m there, and ostensibly why everyone else is as well. The menu consists of the steakburger, the hickoryburger, and a couple sandwiches (as well as fries and pies of course). Basically mayo, pickle, lettuce, meat and Tilamook cheddar. Slap on some “red sauce” (barbecue sauce) and you’ve got yourself the “Hickory” version.

So what is it that makes the Apple Pan burger so special? What is it that sets apart? What keeps people coming back?

Beats the hell out of me.

Don’t get me wrong: the place is totally cute and charming in it’s own way. The bun was toasted just right, the lettuce was crisp, the meat nicely medium-rare (if a bit on the small side)… But ultimately if you were to blindfold me and make me compare this burger to an In-N-Out regular burger without onions, I’d be hard-pressed to tell the difference. And the fries? As average as fries can be.

Now I know some of you are going to be up in arms about this. Blasphemy, right? Sorry gang, I’m just not drinking the Kool•Aid. It’s as good a burger as any other, but therein lies the rub: it’s just like every other burger out there. Much like any institution (church, government, marriage…), it takes a certain amount of faith and suspension of critical examination in order to subsist.

Ask yourself if you love eating there not because of the food, but rather out of some nostalgia for a bygone era? You can almost picture Philip Marlowe sitting at the stool next to you, mulling over the dame that stumbled into his office the previous day.

So how does it rank overall? Well, it’s everything Johnny Rockets tries to be, which is to say a time-warp. So it wins on authenticity. But it doesn’t come close to The Counter on originality, and even further still from 25 Degrees in terms of flavor and overall deliciousness.

If you’re in the area and hankering for a slice of burger, you won’t be disappointed. But I wouldn’t make a point of driving cross-town for one.

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