Politics are obviously filled to the everlasting brim with familiar verbiage used over and over again by each Presidential hopeful. Is there ever a candidate who doesn’t harp on change and the direction of the country? Apparently from Washington to Bush Jr. we have never had a president leading us in the right direction. Hillary has taken unimaginative political speak to new heights.
My favorite tactic she’s latched onto is asking the American people a series of rhetorical questions, unbelievably clichéd rhetorical questions, each one gaining in volume and shrillness to the ecstatic delight of her followers. “Who’s ready for a change? Is America prepared to move in the right direction? How many woodchucks can a woodchuck…”. At least she’s to the point…of complete self-satisfied intolerability. It’s no surprise that Hillary exhibits the same cocksure displayed by the current Prez, but when you’re a part of two families who have led this nation for the past 20 years and about to make that 24 years…well…that kind of swagger probably comes naturally. I don’t get it. Thankfully for Hillary beauty is only skin deep. Thankfully for us if we don’t like the heat we can still get out of the kitchen. Keep em coming Hill, you are too funny.
The good news is that this is shaping up to be the all time best presidential race in terms of entertainment value. We have the first black candidate as well as the first female candidate with a legitimate shot at the White House. We have a dashing Mormon. We have a Huckabee. We have a trial lawyer with a smile as wide as summer. We have the president of 9/11 and we have a 71 year old with an unpredictable temper. This is genius. The only way you could improve the debates would be to let Colbert back in the race. Even without him, these could and should be the greatest/funniest debates we’ve ever scene.
My idea is to simply sit them all in a room (dems and pubs), put them on camera, and let them go. No rules, no moderator, no nothing, just 6 freakish presidential candidates vying for the affection of America. What could be better? How long before Edwards suggests a game of Twister? At what point exactly do Barack and Mitt admit a heterosexual attraction to each other? Another proposal would be simple staring contests. Pit each candidate against the other round robin style.
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2 responses so far ↓
1 Jeff // Jan 10, 2008 at 9:11 am
That was pretty funny, good stuff. A staring contest, that would be hilarious.
2 Vigilante // Jan 10, 2008 at 9:52 pm
This column is garbage. (Best way I can put it and still get my comment published.)
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