It comes with the age, territory, lifestyle, career standing and peer influence. When I was younger (not that I’m old now…but when I was single and fabulous and leaving in Los Angeles, San Francisco, Paris, Moscow and New York, that is…) I loved open relationships.

Think: Carrie, Miranda, Samantha…
People call them “no strings attached” relationships, “f*ck buddies” or “friends with benefits”, but whatever name they go by, for most men they are hard to pass up — there is something intensely satisfying about being able to ring up a girl at 11PM, and be having sex with her at 11:30, and then be saying goodbye to her by 12:30AM. Same goes for women. Is it not fabulous, to ring up a man; tell him you are wearing nothing and that you want him NOW.

Have him come by, with wine (naturally) and have him leave whenever YOU want. And then you get to sleep in your bed and not worry about snoring, turning around, sharing your bed with someone who takes up your pillow and rolls over on your half of bed…And in the morning, not worry about making a breakfast for two, hurrying up in the bathroom to let the other person in and walking around in grandma undies… Ahhh, how liberating – to have sex LIKE A MAN!

When you live in a place like Los Angeles and you have not yet met “the one”, there is nothing wrong with a little something to get you going. It’s only healthy – for both species, male and female. As long as you are smart about it. As long as you are still picky about your f*ck buddy. To my surprise, it could be everything but a boyfriend, it could be a six-pack charged Greek God or it could be a short and chubby with the sexiest smile and…something else that he knows how to use to compensate for everything else that is wrong with him.

When you are young, it’s time to play a bit, but at the end – yes, you do want to have that special one to spoon with, share your bed and wake up to – but before that PRINCE shows up, there should be a few frogs in your pond to practice your moves (I’m not talking about Karate moves)

Friends with Benefits versus Fuck Buddies: I do think there is a difference, and I do think it is important to be clear about what sort of relationship status you are trying to achieve with a woman or a man. If all you have is no strings attached, all you want is to have him in and out of…your door. Make sure the other person is on the same page with you and will not start romancing you.

Friends with Benefits (FWB): This is the relationship where the friendship bond is stronger than the sexual bond. You two may have developed a friendship first, and made it sexual in a moment of weakness (or passion, or frustration, or rebound) — or sometimes, you will have a strong sexual attraction, but one or the other person decides they want to be only friends. Then suck it up and either be a friend…or not. Sometimes these FWB stay in your life and in a while you even forget how these people looked naked – hopefully for your future boyfriend/girlfriend. (Just don’t mention to your girlfriend/boyfriend that this friend that she/he has just met is your FWB or former FWB…)

Fuck Buddy (FB): A relationship where the sexual liaison is really the only bond. Don’t try to make this person someone they are not. Do not make any dates. Do not get romantic on the person. Do not give them presents. And do not ask them to meet your friends and family. Keep them in your “closet”, on a speed dial, or in your black book. These are the true “booty calls” — the people you know you can call at almost any hour of the day or night and, if they’re not doing anything, will come over for a shag (ah, Austin Powers is genius!) This is a casual, low key (no French restaurants, mind you…) and low-maintenance liaison.

Whereas with FWB there is a bona fide friendship to maintain, with FB’s there is really nothing but an agreement to share sexual experiences whenever it’s convenient.

How maintain a FB relationship – your FB absolutely must give you extremely good sex, otherwise – what’s the point?

So how different is FWB from a real full blown relationship, you might ask? Simply add in a pinch of monogamy and you’re set.

Benefits of FB:

- Financially-free
- Your choice for a location of sex (FIGURE OUT what different sex locations mean FOR YOU and there is absolutely no care for what he likes…)
- It’s up to you to decide what day and time is good for you
- No worries about commitments, issues to discuss, arguments – no drama!
- Well, no need to tell me your life story…no need for me to tell you my life story
- Your fridge will still be full before and after the visit
- It’s up to you to decide on how sexy and non-sexy you want to be (Agent Provocateur vs. JC Penny…)
- No need to keep a drawer for his stuff in your apartment
- He is always in the mood, cause once he agrees to come over – he is in the definite mood, he has no excuses…
- No guilt of being selfish

Benefits of Boyfriend/Girlfriend:

It all comes down to the fact that even the most single and fabulous girls want to have a special relationship. Why? Just cause… there is nothing like a real intimacy!

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