AskMen.com says it’s almost impossible for a man to stay in a long distance relationship. However, some of my male friends disagree. Extent of the sacrifice would depend on whether you have someone you are willing to sacrifice your libido and mojo for. It is possible, but the dilemma is – how do you keep it alive and is there a time-frame?
For most of us, at least once in our lives we experience a long-distance relationship and in most cases it does not work. I know people who would argue with me about this and say at the end it worked for them. Now, I want to know how they kept it alive? I know how it has been for me in the past few months. It’s tough to know you care and desire someone who is far. Coping everyday with the fact that you come to an empty house with no one to share your everyday happy and sad moments and with no one to fulfill your physical needs takes a strong set of mind and will power. The strength to get up the next day with a same desire to make the relationship work. Most people give up after a few weeks or at most a few months.
How far and for how long you can go with the phone sex, trips to see each other and things to occupy yourself when you are alone? You feed of the idea that this person is there, but can you trust that he or she can stay faithful and does not grow apart from you? There is always a “what-if.” There is always a “what is he or she doing at the moment?” There is no right or wrong solution; it’s the patience and hope that this wait would come to an end at some point. The hardest task is to keep it together, because the sexual and emotional frustration can create an artificial intensity that otherwise you won’t experience in each other’s presence.
A woman or a man who is willing to sacrifice the basic human needs for a few precious moments, really makes a difference in your life. It’s up to both parties to keep the relationship alive; even simple gestures to say you care and want to make it work help. Things like flowers, cards, sexy texts, getaways and surprise little gifts are not as little and obvious as some people would believe. They give the “breath” to the relationship.
So, how do you know if the relationship would work? You don’t. You can’t know. But there is always hope that the resolution will come and when it does, chances are that the reunion will be as good as you imagined. If you “served the sentence, you’d appreciate the freedom much more” and, hopefully, when you unite for good, you’ll keep each other captive in a bedroom for a while.
Trust the power of texts and emails and take this “lonely” time to examine your life, goals, desires, wants and the depth of your feelings toward the other person.
P.S. A little personal note. You have to be able to really talk to one another honestly to make a long-distance relationship work.
Photo by EndangeredAngel via flickr
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1 Melissa // Feb 12, 2008 at 5:38 pm
Another fantastic article from Alisa! When I read her penned articles, it reminds me of reading a book, that one can’t put down. I hope to read one of her articles, in one of the many periodicals, which I subscribe. Keep on writing!
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