There is something about this season’s America’s Next Top Model that’s driving me to drink. Must they have the ‘Tyra Mail’ read out loud by all of the girls? Listening to that drivel makes me feel like I’ve stumbled onto the short bus and they’re on a field trip to the special park and they’re all trying to recite the Declaration of Independence in unison or something. I know, I know, the girls are not supposed to be smart, they’re supposed to be pretty, right? Whatever. This madness has got to stop. One girl struggling through is quite enough, thank you.
This week in Top Model land (New York City) would’ve been boring if it weren’t for a lovely fight between Whitney and Dominique. It started with the basic bitching and then it all culminated when Whitney asked Dominique how much education she had. Dominique called Whitney racist and then it got interesting. They both came off sounding pretty lame but Whitney was especially annoying because she’s so cocky. I usually find myself rooting for the plus-size girls but this time, I say down with Whitney.
The challenge was a pose-off judged by Benny Ninja and Vendela. Two teams took each other on, two girls at a time in front of a graffiti-ed backdrop. The result was pretty funny. The winning team got to go to a swag tent and get some, well, swag. Claire, of course, won the whole challenge and got a trip to Bora Bora. Whitney thought she should have gotten it because she was, as she put it, “a fat girl doing the splits.” Marvita sucked again, which I was sad about because I like Marvita.
For the photo shoot, the girls shot a paint-splattered close up. It looked pretty rad. Much cooler than meat-clothes, but maybe that’s just me. I’d rather have paint all over me than dead animals any day. I’m so weird. Stand outs were Claire, who looked wicked cool and Stacy Ann. Mr. Jay loved him some Dominique. Marvita sucked again and I started worrying about her.
All of a sudden it was the end of the show and time for panel. There was the prerequisite shot of Tyra doing the weekly photo shoot and showing that she can do it better than any of the girls. Miss Tyra has to assert her greatness every show. Can’t blame her for that. Speaking of Tyra, I’m pretty sure she was high on something. Totally faded. Not sure what it was but the girl was ON, know what I mean?
In the judging, Fatima was called out for not shaving her armpits. The judges loved Stacy Ann, Claire and Lauren (me too!) and Whitney was annoying again. The final two were my girl Marvita and Whitney. I guess I didn’t cross my fingers hard enough because Marvita went bye-bye and Whitney lived to fight another week.
Claire was the Cover Girl of the Week for the 4th time in a row. I want her or Lauren to win. Oooh, or Benny Ninja. He’s the coolest. He knows how to just slightly squint his eyes instead of having dead eyes. That’s important.
America’s Next Top Model is on The CW at 8pm every Wednesday.
*photo from flickr.
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1 response so far ↓
1 Rambo Goddam // Mar 20, 2008 at 4:23 pm
“Listening to that drivel makes me feel like I’ve stumbled onto the short bus and they’re on a field trip to the special park and they’re all trying to recite the Declaration of Independence in unison or something. ”
LOLOLOL best sentence ever!!!!!!!
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