I was intrigued and amused by, but a bit skeptical about the title of Lauren Allison and Lisa Perry’s new book. Was The Woman who is Always Tan and has a Flat Stomach (2008, Grand Central Publishing, New York) going to be, like, seriously this superficial, I wondered? Luckily, no. Once I read the end of the title, “…and other annoying people,” I realized these authors weren’t going to be babbling on about how wonderful such women are, but how ridiculous they are. Phewph. Each chapter, from “The Woman who has Dinner Prepared Every Day by 10 a.m.” to “The Babysitter who Knows How to do Everything Better than You,” to “The Husband Who has a Cold but Believes it’s Malaria,” tackles some annoying character in American suburbia.

The authors hit the nail on the head with their descriptions. I found myself nodding along with each scenario, thinking “Ughh, I know exactly the person you’re talking about. So annoying!” They talk about that family whose Christmas letter goes on for pages and pages, about every soccer medal and honor roll achieved by every child? Yup, annoying! The dad who is so obsessed with saving energy that he won’t allow any lights on? Yup, logical but a pain in the butt! The mom who has her photos placed in an album the second she finished developing them? Yes, annoying. I mean, who wants to be that perfect?? I, on the other hand wait till I’m practically graduated from college to compile photos from elementary school. So as you can see, most people, like me, will probably relate to some of the anecdotes in the book.

Allison and Perry demonstrate how in-tune they are with people (both give seminars to women and businesses), and succeed at mocking without insulting. The writing is witty and entertaining: “The Grammar Mom snorted. ‘Mrs. Whitehead wouldn’t know a dependent clause from a dangling participle. That’s why my daughter goes to Grammar Camp every summer.’”

Although, I enjoyed reading the book, it lacked it terms of being a fully thought out novel. Reading a chapter or two gave me a laugh, but that’s about it. The characters depicted would be great if they were part of a greater plot, but they are not. All the authors do is describe each character in a few ridiculous situations and then move on without a greater sense of purpose. At the end of each description, I found myself asking every time, “So… what?”

Surprise generally helps a joke work. The punch lines would actually be punch lines, if they were not preceded by a title dictating exactly what was going to said. Then, I’d most likely laugh, rather than wonder why I’m reading the same description twice.

At times, the writing was just awkward and I expect more from a published novel. Although, I do credit the book for many other reasons. For those of us who are sick of mothers with better bodies than their children (fine I admit it, I’m one of them!) or who get frustrated when someone orders you to close the fridge after it’s been open half a second, it provides a little justification for our feelings of annoyance. Allison and Perry seem to say, ‘Look how ridiculous these people are! See, you’re not the only one who thinks so!’ So in a sense, the book enables us less-than-perfect beings to bond together in agreement that these flat-stomached, perfectly-organized perfect hosts, great chefs, all-around flawless people are just silly.

On the other hand, reading it makes me feel a little bit like a jealous high school girl, so bitter about the perfect popular girls that I can’t stop talking about them. So while The Woman who is Always Tan and has a Flat Stomach… is entertaining and insightful in its critiques of people, part of it makes me feel a bit base for nodding and chuckling along.

So do read a few chapters, have a good laugh, but keep your rhetorical and grammatical radar off or you might want to pull your hair out. Or get it styled to look like that woman across the street.

Purchase The Woman who is Always Tan and has a Flat Stomach…and Other Annoying People at amazon!

Photo by sunriser jay via flickr.

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