Ladies, if you found out you were going to be on America’s Next Top Model, wouldn’t you get your passport ready immediately?  Come on!  This week, it was all about Fatima’s passport issues.  Oh, and some other stuff happened too.

Paulina swung by the model lair to give the girls advice on how to interview.  They played a game where she was some chic named Ms. De Bois that owned a cosmetic company.  Paulina said Anya was good and Stacy Ann was fake.  Fascinating.

Then, Lauren chops part of her finger off while cutting an onion and has to go to the hospital.  It was pretty anticlimactic, especially after all the previews.  I mean, she had to get stitches and that’s not fun for anybody but it wasn’t a big deal.

The girls’ challenge is to use their new-found social skills that Paulina instilled in them at a red carpet event for 7-up.  They are given Jay Godfrey dresses to wear and they get their hair and makeup done and actually look pretty awesome.  On the red carpet, Lauren tries to go all punk rock and says the word *gasp* “ass.”  Dominique forgets the designer and says her dress is Jay ‘Giorgio’.  Brilliant.  Remind me why she’s still there?  And, while I’m thinking of it, what is the deal with Tyra and dudes named Jay?  Maybe she has a fetish?

The girls are judged on their red carpet performance and how well they mingle at the party.  Everyone loved Anya and hated Stacy Ann and Whitney because they were both fake and lame.  Anya wins the challenge and gets to do a photo shoot for 7-up where she has to get naked again.  (With lemons and limes covering her bits.) Good thing that girl’s from Hawaii.  She’s probably used to wearing practically nothing.   She gets paid $10,000 which is cool I guess but squat for a national ad campaign.  Am I right?  It’s probably better than working at the shave ice place or whatever, though.

The girls get a ‘Tyra mail’ and they think they’re going over seas.  It tells them to pack their bags.  They show up at an airport early in the morning but are shocked to learn that they are at their photo shoot and that they will be posing for a group shot with a jet in the background.  In other words, they stayed up all night packing for nothing and they all have to stand outside in the freezing cold until everyone gets a turn being the focus.  Yipee.  Fatima is not there because she is getting her passport situation ironed out.  My girl Whitney flounders at the shoot but not as badly as Dominique.  Mr. Jay even calls her performance “remedial posing 101.”  (Why is she still there?!)  Fatima never shows up and misses the shoot completely but she does get her passport.

After they wrap, the contestants are told to go into an airplane hangar.  Once inside, they realize that they are doing panel immediately because the place is set up for it.  The whole gang is there, including Mr. Jay, who miraculously changes into a silver blazer that matches his hair.  (It was magic, I’m telling you.) The models are told that they will be going “over seas” immediately after judging.  Well, 6 of them will be.  So mysterious.

Anya’s name is called first.  Stacy Ann and Fatima are the final two.  The judges hold on to Fatima even though she skipped the shoot and tell Stacy Ann “Ciao!” while the rest of them head to Rome.

Stay tuned next week when Fatima gets a fever.  Waah.  Suck it up, Fatima.  I have a fever right now and you don’t hear me complaining.  Well, actually, I guess you do.  Oh, and the girls film a Cover Girl commercial in Italian.  This should be interesting because a few of them cannot even speak English.

*America’s Next Top Model is on Wednesday nights at 8pm on the CW.

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