Has there ever been a less relevant controversy than “Paula-Gate”?

Last Wednesday, America’s favorite over-medicated singing judge, Paula Abdul, was caught off-guard by a last-minute change in procedure that saw her forced to spit out commentary relating to the first batch of performances rather than simply the second. To the surprise of nobody, Paula became incredibly flustered and began reading notes completely unrelated to anything the audience had already seen.

So what?

It shouldn’t be a surprise to viewers that the judges drop in on the dress rehearsal (which occurs immediately before the live program), and that Paula may have wanted to take as many chances as she could to get some of her thoughts out before the voices in here head took over.

Paula’s gaffe led to countless conspiracy theories. Chief among them were that the performances are not live, only pre-recorded packages that the judges then give their live commentaries on, and that the judges are told what to say.

Both of these seemed pretty far-fetched. While it’s true there are plenty of competition shows that claim to be live and actually feature about 90% pre-taped material with only a couple live pieces, none are performed in front of a studio audience that includes members of the press. For “Idol” to pull off a pseudo-live broadcast would require a conspiracy on a par with the JFK assassination.

The other scenario seems even less likely. While a team of writers could certainly be behind Simon’s witty quips, it’s hard to imagine a creative force that could reach far enough into the depths of their minds to invent any of Paula’s half-baked musings.

In cases such as these it’s best to turn to the principle of Occam’s razor, that the simplest explanation is probably the most accurate. With a medium as basic as television and a mind like Paula’s, simplicity should be the word that rules the day in any matters that seem a bit out of place.

Since “Idol” took over the ratings world with the Clay Aiken/Ruben Studdard duel, bloggers and journalists alike have been on some sort of vindictive quest to knock the show off its perch. The assaults certainly come with the territory, but become increasingly bizarre with each passing day.

“Idol”’s attackers should focus on subjects of a bit more substance, like the three weeks of nightmare auditions, the horrible theme nights, and a single-elimination format that drags on longer than an Allman Brothers song. Attempting to undermine a juggernaut based on the misspeakings of one space-cadet is neither productive nor compelling.

Kind of like Paula herself.

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