•  Have you seen www.sarahjessicaparkerlookslikeahorse.com?  It’s completely mean and absolutely hilarious.  I wonder if that’s what made her so popular to begin with?  I mean hot/ugly chics are relatable, right?  I’ve heard her called “My Little Pony Parker” which is very endearing to me because I freakin’ loved My Little Ponies.  I, like, totally got kicked out of Mrs. Robinson’s class in 4th grade because I wouldn’t take mine off my desk during music appreciation.  Hey, their tales needed to be combed.  Maybe I deep down just want to comb Sarah Jessica Parker’s hair with a tiny pink plastic brush.  But, Carrie Bradshaw is horse-ish.  You gotta admit it.

• Lindsay Lohan was reportedly offered $1 Million to come out of her massive closet.  Supposedly OK! magazine will give her a cool million to admit she’s a lesbian in their pages.  I think she should do it because they’ll print it anyway.  She might as well make a buck off it.  You know how many pairs of leggings you can buy for that much?  She can buy her girl Samantha Ronson a new hat and vest combo!

• Kelsey Grammer is recovering after suffering a mild heart attack over the weekend.  He is resting at a Hawaiian hospital.  Spokesman Stan Rosenfield reported that Grammer “began experiencing symptoms Saturday morning while paddle-boarding with his wife, Camille, at their home in Maui.  Grammer was immediately taken to an area hospital, where it was determined that he had a mild heart attack,” Rosenfield said.  Glad he’s okay.  Here’s to a speedy recovery.

• Tatum O’Neal was released from jail Monday after being arrested for cocaine possession.  After asking the cops if they knew who she was, O’Neal reportedly curled up and slept on a mattress with a couple of other incarcerated ladies.  Wow, some people can sleep anywhere.  The Daily News claims Tatum told officers, “I’ve been clean for a long time.  Today was the first time I was relapsing, but you guys saved me. Can you let me go?”  That’s hard up when you get busted on your first relapse.  Hope it was worth it.

• Steve-O from Jackass also enjoys the white stuff.  Yesterday, Steve-O entered a guilty plea to a Los Angeles court.  He announced that he’d “found God” and been sober for 85 days.  Because he’s going to rehab, the judge went easy on the former party-maniac.  His attorney, Barry Gerald Sands told E! News that “the entire case will be dismissed when he completes the program. It will be like it never happened.  You can’t beat that.”  True dat, Barry.  Yay, Steve-O.

*photo by williac via flickr.

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