• AOL has named the 15 hottest dads in Hollywood. I’m on board with the top 4 (Brad Pitt, David Beckham, Johnny Depp and Will Smith, in that order) but the rest of the list is pretty whack. Making the list were Joel Madden, Ryan Phillipe and Toby Maquire. Ick! Noticeable missing was Christian Bale. AOL, you forgot Batman. You should be ashamed of yourself.
• Joel refuses to marry Nicole Richie until she converts to Christianity. Joel Madden has been described by friends as ” an old-fashioned conservative guy with hardcore Christian beliefs.” Ah, man, he was beginning to grow on me; now I’m back to thinking he’s a dorkvomit. Apparently, he would like Nicole to find God and share his beliefs before they tie the knot. Is he serious? He and his brother are supposedly down-home Christian good boys and they’re dating Nicole Richie and Paris Hilton (Satan herself)? What is it with you religious freaks? Isn’t being hypocritical a sin or something?

• Jennifer Aniston and that one dude go ‘public’. I guess sucking face with John Mayer in front of photographers isn’t going ‘public’. Thursday night Jen and John joined Courteney and David at a humanitarian even at STK here in LA. (Is that place good? Do they serve tofu?) Witnesses say the two were ‘canoodling’ all night long. I wish witnesses would find a new word. How about ‘groping’ or ‘mugging down’. I hate canoodling.
• Katherine Heigl once again bites the hand that feeds her. Heigl is dropping out of the Emmy race because, in her own words, she does “not feel (she) was given the material this season to warrant a nomination.” What did the Grey’s Anatomy writers do to warrant such a backslap? Oh, I know, they wrote a hit show that made her a household name, got her noticed by Judd Apatow and kept her character alive all this time. How dare they? If I were her publicist, I’d buy her a Citronella Dog collar and make her wear it at all times. If she opens her mouth to say something stupid, she gets sprayed in the face. Hey, drastic times call for…you know.
• R. Kelly was found ‘not guilty’ on all charges of child pornography. After deliberating for 3 hours, the jury cleared him on all of the 14 charges filed against him. This case has been going on for 6 years. I think that someone should sue him for that ‘Trapped in the closet’ thing. Actually, I take that back. I kind-of love him for making that crap.

*photo by williac via flickr.

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