When did being polite become so impolite?
Somewhere around the turn of the century manners died alongside Cassette Players and Ricky Martin’s career. It is no longer considered proper to say please and thank you. In fact, it seems to have become downright rude.
Think about it. Nowadays when somebody punctuates a sentence with the word “please” isn’t it usually in a moment of disgust. “Can I have my coffee now, please,” “Can you stop talking, please,” “Britney, will you back your car off my child, please?”
It’s even worse for other polite phrases. The expression “excuse me” is often reserved for situations requiring derision, in place of the more belligerent “shut up” and “get out of my way,” and “ma’am” usually used as a substitute for calling a lady a female dog.
Yes, at some point along the way expressions meant to show respect began being implemented in exactly the opposite manner. But how did this happen? How did we get to the point where politeness is only used in place of anger?
The problem is twofold. First, manners have simply gone out the window. It’s now considered courteous to place an order or respond to an offer of food or drink by saying, “Yeah, let me get a. . .” This opposed to the classic, “May I please have. . .” (which incidentally is now uttered only when a waiter fails to return to your table in a timely manner).
The second is the more hostile world in which we live. People get angrier much more easily these days and seem to be put out by more things than ever before. Because of this, confrontations are always imminent.
Thus, manners are used as a way to sort of steer the upset party away from any physical conflict. Now, in an angry situation these words fly out in the place of expletives in order to prevent the flight of fisticuffs.
Yes, manners have become so passe that people only think to use them as a means of prevention rather than a sign of respect. And therefore, a former polite phrase now carries the same connotation as a vulgar affront.
Miss Manners must be rolling in her grave.
Photo by Pegabovine
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