The fifth season of Project Runway premiered on Bravo last night and it didn’t disappoint. Bringing back a fan-favorite from Season 1, the Project Runway folks gave the designers the old grocery store challenge. In other words, the Gristedes Mega Store Challenge. Each designer could select items from the grocery store from which to create a look. On hand to inspire (and guest judge) was Season 1 Princess of Awesomeness, Austin Scarlett, who won the Gristedes challenge the first time with a dress made of corn husks.
The contestants gathered up their groceries and hurried to Parsons to make their outfits. Out of the 16, only a few were standing out and most of those were not making an impression in a good way. There was Blayne Walsh, formally of the coffee shop and the tanning bed who kept saying “hollah at your boy,” or “girlicious” like he was either in the Wu Tang Clan or The Spice Girls. He did crack me up when he said, “I’m so happy and so tan.” So, he gets props for being kind of funny underneath all that orange. Suede was, to use his own term “wackadoodle” and kept referring to himself in 3rd person like Elmo. He might turn out to be quite entertaining, though. Stella, a pessimist rocker chic in her forties, thinks that being the first person sent home from Project Runway makes you the “biggest jackass of the nation.” Whoa, Stella! Let’s get some perspective here. We live in America. The biggest jackass of our country would have to do a lot more than get kicked off of a design show. I think you’re safe. Might be good hopefuls included Kenley, Daniel, Kelli, Leanne, Wesley and Emily.
Back at Parsons, the other obvious thing is that everyone picked a freaking tablecloth. Or a showercurtain, papertowels, potholders, or something else resembling fabric. Considering it’s the 5th season, I found this to be quite wimpy. You’d think by now they’d realize they have to go for it. Or maybe they’re paralyzed by fear like my Meemaw gets when you point a camera at her. Tim Gunn does his required walk-through. He sees all the tablecloths, tells the contestants that the judges will think they’re lazy, says a couple of “Make it work!”s and he’s outta there back to Tim Gunn-land. So, all the tablecloth people scramble, gluing on this and sewing on that, trying to make it work. Stella the rock chic is whining about the quality of her trash bags and deciding she’s going home. Hasn’t that girl read “The Secret”?
At the fashion show, most of the designers really pull it out. Cute honorable mentions are Leanne’s Marshmallow concoction, Emily’s Balloons and Ball dress, Jarrell’s Paper Umbrella design, and Kensley’s Lawnchair/Dodgeball outfit. But, it’s Daniel, Kelli, and Korto that are singled out as the best while Blayne, Jerry and Stella take the bottom three spots. Daniel’s Blue Plastic Cup dress is given high marks by the judges. All agree it is innovative and visually pleasing. Korto’s Tomato and Tablecloth dress is a hit with the judges. Michael Kors even said “She’s got a great look.” I thought she had an itchy look but I’m not a top American designer. The judges gave it to Kelli for her Vacuum Bag dress. I thought this was a good decision. The dress was cool and that chic thought of everything from bleach dye to notebook spiral closures. So, yay.
As for the suckage, Blayne’s Girlicious Jump Rope Romper left the judges cold. Kors said it looked like his model had stuck an old diaper in between her legs. Heidi called her a “Playboy bunny gone grunge.” Stella’s Trash Bag Elvira gown was deemed “butt-ugly” by Ms. Klum and “a yawn” by Mr. Kors but Stella was not kicked off. Maybe next time, girl. It was Jerry’s Crazy Nurse Ratchet look that sent him packing. Michael Kors said the “dress underneath looks like a handi-wipe gone wrong.” I was reminded of that Japanese horror film The Audition. I didn’t like his look but I wouldn’t liked to have seen him stay and Blayne go. I can tell he’s going to annoy me. He does not make me feel “girlicious.”
*Project Runway is on Bravo on Wednesdays at 9pm.
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1 Angie Deuson Graves // Jul 17, 2008 at 2:25 pm
Its hard to feel “Girlicious” while wearing a diaper.
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