As the final full week of July hits, we know our nightmares are soon about to end. Summer is winding down and soon our favorite TV shows will return to the airwaves.
That lovely moment is still weeks away, however, and we’ll need something to satiate our appetites between now and then. Repeats just won’t do any longer. You may have suffered with them so far this summer, ignoring new programming in favor of the familiar, but now even that has worn thin.
Fear not, TV fan, you’ve stumbled onto the right article. For here, we provide a weekly roadmap that will help you find the best new programming to get you through the rest of the TV repeat season.
So, without further ado, here are this week’s recommendations.
Monday
ABC makes its bid to become the new Fox with the debut of yet another reality series at 9:00. Tonight, it’s “Wanna Bet?”, a show that finds contestants claiming to be able to pull off bizarre stunts and a celebrity panel wagering on the veracity of their claims. OK, celebrity is a very loose term here: The panel includes Harland Williams.
Dipping further into the reality wasteland, you’ll find “Date my Ex” on Bravo @10:00. This show features the two former “stars” of “The Real Housewives of Orange County”, Jo & Slade. The former is looking for love in Los Angeles while the latter, her ex and still good friend, will live with any potential suitor. And you thought “Casablanca” was romantic.
If you want to get to the absolute bottom of the barrel, then tune into HBO @ 9:00, for their new documentary “Heidi Fleiss: The Would-Be Madam of Crystal.” This 75-minute film explores the former madam and ex-con’s attempt to create her own stud-farm in the male-dominated brothel industry of Las Vegas. The title partly comes from Fleiss’ claim that she loves Crystal Meth. Beautiful.
Right after the documentary, we have a bonus pick for the night. HBO blows the doors off a growing epidemic with their news special “In Focus: Shedding the Light on Vampires in America, A Primetime Network Exclusive.” In reality, this is a 15-minute advert for their new series “True Blood” debuting in September. This is another part of the viral marketing for the series that includes those TruBlood drink ads at bus stops around town. So don’t try to order that next time you’re at the bar.
Tuesday
The absolute best news program on television is back with a new installment tonight at 10:00 on HBO. This episode of “REAL Sports with Bryant Gumbel” features an interview with Bill Parcells and examinations of the sports of gymnastics and equestrian. Gumbel’s ace team of reporters always provide an insight into sports unavailable anywhere else.
If you’d like to tap into your inner Henry Higgins then flip over to MTV at 10:00 for a brand-new installment of “From G’s to Gents.” Fonzworth Bentley plays Pygmalion as he attempts to transform a baker’s dozen of gangstas into refined high-society gentleman. No truth to the rumor that the series will follow up with a sequel titled “My Fair Ho.”
This week’s proof that people don’t care about anything but being on TV is found at 9:00 on TLC. “Must Love Kids” features three single moms eschewing the raising of their children in exchange for a shot at love, and fame, as cameras follow them onto the dating scene. Someday, “Dateline” will do an expose entitled “Children of Reality,” that should be very interesting.
Wednesday
Fans of watching people hurt themselves (And really, who isn’t?) can rejoice as Criss Angel returns with a new season of his “Mindfreak” program at 10:00 on A&E. Will he swallow glass? Eat fire? Get run over by another steamroller? Tune in to find out.
More reality abounds on TV Land and VH1. The first network airs a new installment of “Family Foreman,” a series about the former heavyweight champion’s clan. Expect little conflict, but a lot of people named George. Did you know Brooke Hogan has her own show? It’s true, and it’s on VH1 tonight at 10:00.
Thursday
We’ll do a theme evening for Thursday’s recommendations with an all-VH1 and MTV slate of programming.
First, at 8:00 on VH1 Classic, catch back-to-back installments of their series “Classic Albums.” The first episode details John Lennon’s “Plastic Ono Band” and the second The Doors’ self-title debut. These series recall a time before VH1 became the celebreality channel.
On normal VH1, the celebreality is off for a night for a mini-marathon of three episodes of “Sex: The Revolution.” This is the new age installment of the classic “Sex in the 90s” from MTV. The episodes start at 8:00 and the topics include saving yourself for marriage and kinky sex habits.
Finally, MTV brings us an all-new episode of “Randy Jackson Presents: America’s Best Dance Crew” at 10:00. If that’s not good enough, it’s preceded by a 90-minute special at 8:30.
Sunday
Yes, every summer recommendation article is very reality heavy, because that’s really all we have following the writer’s strike. But salvation has arrived on Sunday with the return of maybe the best series on television, “Mad Men”. Catch the season premiere on AMC tonight at 10:00 and find out why this 1960s-set ad agency drama took home more Emmy nominations than any other series on television.
Once again, it’s Shark Week on the Discover Channel which gives the Mythbusters a chance to debunk some myths about the sharp-toothed fish. Catch their all new special tonight at 9:00 and learn why it may be safe to go back in the water.
The reality onslaught reaches its completion tonight at 10:00 with the season finale of “The Next Food Network Star”. Tonight, the cooking combatants will present pilots for their proposed series and a winner will be crowned. This is probably the best reality program all week, so if you have to pick one, make it this one. Don’t worry, there’ll be plenty more next week from which to choose.
Be sure to check back every Monday for your guide through the Summer TV Jungle.
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