On September 6th, the finest ever show about movies will cease to exist.
“At The Movies” that pantheon of serious criticism originally featuring the thumbs of Siskel & Ebert and more recently Richard Roeper and Michael Phillips is about to get a makeover. For its 23rd season, Roeper and his guests will yield the balcony to the new team of Ben Lyons and Ben Mankiewicz.
It might as well have been fric and frac. Mankiewicz the slacker creature from the basement of Turner Classic Movies has no experience as a film critic and has just gained the most powerful spot in the industry. His companion’s biggest claim to fame is the movie critic for that bastion of film journalism “The Daily 10″ on E! Lyons is just a haircut and Mankiewicz needs one. Hey, at least their dads were famous
There’s no problem in replacing Ebert and Roeper. After all, Roger can no longer speak and Roeper was always just a replacement anyway. Still, the people they’ve chosen make a movie show hosted by the Olsen twins seem like a lovely alternative. The ridiculous dumbing down of one of the smartest shows on television is just the next of the boob tube’s endless quest to reach a new generation of nitwits in order to increase ratings.
What’s next? Here are some press releases we may see in the future. . .
Chevy Chase Replaces Katie Couric on the CBS Evening News
“With the success of ‘The Daily Show’ and other comedy news programs, we figured why try to beat ‘em when you can join ‘em?” said the president of CBS News. He went on to say that Chevy Chase was an obvious pick since as the first anchor of “Weekend Update” he had the most experience.
Larry King Retires; Mark McGrath Takes the Big Chair
“We really love what he’s done on Extra,” said the show’s executive producer, “We think he’ll bring a whole new dynamic to our show.” McGrath gave no comment on whether he’d stick with the former host’s trademark suspenders.
ESPN Replaces Panel on ‘Sports Reporters’ with Sports Bloggers
Bloggers from popular sports websites including “The Big Lead”, “Deadspin” and “With Leather” will take over the seats from the series’ usual group of newspapermen when “The Sports Reporters” launches its next season.
“We really think BallzDeep can provide us a perspective Bob Ryan never could,” said an ESPN spokesperson.
NBC Selects M.C. Lyte to Replace the Late Tim Russert
After serving as a part-time political correspondent for MTV during the 2004 and 2008 elections, the former rapper will assume the biggest position in the political news forum as she assumes the seat held for so long by the venerated Tim Russert.
“We’re very excited to have such a fresh perspective on ‘Meet The Press’,” said the president of NBC’s Washington division.
New segments will include a closing rap during which the new hosts sums up the day’s interviews.
Entire “60 Minutes” Team Dies of Old Age, Replaced by the Team at TMZ on TV
“We feel the TMZ team will allow ‘60 Minutes’ to reach a brand new audience,” said the show’s new executive producer, “We’re especially excited about that long-haired blonde surfer dude taking over for Andy Rooney, he sees the world with a delightful wit and his essays are certain to be gold standard for years to come.”
Other new features will include ambushing celebrities for that week’s interview segment, and following around high-profile politicians with cell phone cameras.
Image courtesy Wikipedia
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