On this week’s Project Runway, straight off the bat the contestants are taken on a field trip with Tim Gunn. En Route, we learn about the extent of Blayne’s tanning withdrawal, which appears to be getting quite serious. He confesses to Tim that he needs to tan every other day to feel his best. His eyes scan the scenery outside frantically and I truly believe that if he’d seen a tanning salon, he would’ve jumped out of the window. Addicts are like that, you know. For his safety, I think he needs to hit a nice Orbit bed.
The crew arrives at their destination, The Armory Track and Field Center. There they see a dude inline skating around the track. They pretend to be excited but most of them just look bewildered, like, who the hell is this guy and why are we outdoors of all places? The dude turns out to be Apolo Ohno, hottie Olympian, 5-time medalist (2 of them gold) and the only Olympic athlete I have ever so much as had a twinge of a crush on. (I usually like pale, sickly dudes that draw or write, play guitar or have drug problems.) Apolo is there to be the guest judge for the week and to tell them their about the challenge. They are to design an Opening Ceremony Look for the Olympic Summer Games, following in the footsteps of great designers such as Armani and Ralph Lauren. Thankfully, they only have to design for the women.
The contestants are given 30 minutes at the Olympic museum to get inspired and to sketch and then they are taken to Mood, where they have a budget of $150. At Mood, Keith tries to steal Terri’s fabric but Terri catches him and shows him who’s boss. Stella is inspired by a photo of an Olympian in fur (what is it with this chic and dead animals?) and decides to design an outfit that is primarily black and on the tougher side. “There’s a lot of bikers in this country that watch the Olympics,” Stella says to justify her choice. This is news to me. I learn something every week by watching Project Runway. Every week, I tell you. As the designers get down to the business of creating their garments, they talk about their sporty pasts. Joe, shockingly, used to play football. Lauren was a cheerleader. Blayne, resident Tanorexic, says, “In tanning, I’m an Olympic athlete. It only goes to Bronze medal.” Uh-huh.
Meanwhile, Kenley’s laugh seems to be driving the other designers crazy. Do you think she is really annoying or are they angry that she won last week and has immunity this week. Jealous much? Tim Gunn remarks that Blayne’s garment looks like Srgt. Pepper. Blayne claims he doesn’t get the reference. Tim explains that it’s a Beatles album and then Blayne cops to having seen the film Across the Universe, which is all Beatles songs but Blayne curtly explains that they were sung by other people so it didn’t count. I guess Blayne thinks being culturally clueless is as cute as being tan? I don’t know but I’d much rather know The Beatles than the phrase, “Holla at your boy.” Things get even more “wackadoodle”, as Suede would say, when Joe gets really angry that Daniel is using the machine that he likes to use. Joe believes Daniel should notice which machine he uses and then avoid it, even though the machines are meant to be shared by all the contestants. Joe eloquently says, “Too much drama because there’s too many queens.” Nice dude. You’re on Project Runway! Get a grip.
All of this pettiness is made to seem even more stupid when you hear Korto’s story. She talks about what America means to her, which is a second chance. Korto and her family immigrated to The United States in 1990 from Liberia because of Civil War. She and her family fled unspeakable terrors. As she quietly contemplates her garment, you just know that she could give a shit whether Blayne gets to tan or not and which sewing machine Joe prefers. She just wants to design her clothes. How refreshing.
In my humble opinion, the runway show is the worst yet. My Love List is tiny and my Hate List makes me look like a real hater. On the Love List go: Korto (my favorite), Kelli, Leanne (2nd favorite), Stella (1st time ever I haven’t hater hers) and Terri. The Hate List is: Suede, Daniel, Jarell, Joe, Keith, Jennifer, Blayne and Kenley. The judges don’t exactly agree with me this week. The highest scores go to Terri, Joe and Korto. Getting the lowest scores are Jennifer, Daniel and Jarell.
Of the suckage, the judges felt that it was as if the contestants “heard the challenge in another language.” Jarell’s Holly Hobbie ensemble was called “Mary had a little lamb” by Nina Garcia. Apolo described it as “from a movie set.” Daniel’s purple dress brought out the comedian in Michael Kors. He asked if Daniel’s model was representing “The Republic of Cocktail-land,” and then said, “If her sport is drinking, it’s a good dress.” Oh, Michael Kors. You so funny! But Jennifer was the worst offender. For the second week in a row, she bored everyone to death. Apolo called it “bland” and Kors said she “can’t get past herself.” Nina Garcia thought that Jennifer’s model “looks silly,” plain and simple. Jennifer was sent surreal-packing. I wish I could say we’ll all miss her but I’ve already forgotten what she looked like.
On to the winners’ circle! The judges loved Joe and his sporty skort. Nina said he was the “only one who did something so literal.” I’m glad he didn’t win. I didn’t like his outfit and I think he’s a homophobic zipper-lover, but that’s just me. The judges ate up Terri’s pants, jacket and halter top. Kors even wrote “Hooray for sportswear.” He did! He even underlined it. But, Korto rocked the hardest with her white linen pantsuit. Kors said she “took the red, white and blue thing and made it sophisticated.” I was very happy for Korto because she’s cool and I liked her design. This challenge just seemed to click for her. I do think that Terri is the one to watch, though. She’s come close to winning the last couple of weeks and I believe the other designers should be scared of her. She’s good and consistent and I think she’ll be whipping much ass in the future.
Tune in next week to check out guest judge Brooke Shields and to see if Blayne gets to tan.
*Project Runway is on Bravo Wednesdays at 9pm.
1 response so far ↓
1 Haley // Aug 7, 2008 at 6:28 pm
Actually, I believe Tim Gunn was referring to the Sgt. Pepper’s album. You know, all the crazy pics on the cover and the clothes that the Beatles wore during that era.
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