“I am so in awe of my garment.” ~ Blayne
Project Runway started off this week with Suede’s revelation that there are only four measly guys left. Color me shocked. They’ll all go home eventually but for now, they’re keeping some around for entertainment’s sake. Otherwise, we’d all fall asleep this season. Let’s face it, there’s no Christian or Chris March or hell, even Sweet Pea to keep us watching so we’ll settle for third-person mumblings from Suede and Blayne’s flippant claims about wanting to marry Mary-Kate Olsen. (Don’t they look alike? Blayne’s the third Olsen!) It’s not awesomely crazy like last season but, hey, we’ll take it.
Tim Gunn arrives on the runway to tell the contestants that they will be designing for a fashion legend. He drags them down to the Meat Packing District and into the studios of (surprise!) Diane Von Furstenberg, designer extraordinaire, queen of the wrap-dress, and empress of prints. All our designers seem flummoxed but Kenley begins crying immediately. Diane tells the bunch that their challenge will be to create a look for her Fall Collection inspired by the film A Foreign Affair. The winning look will be sold to American Express Card members and the proceeds will benefit the CFDA Foundation. The contestants are taken into Diane’s own sample room to get materials and fabrics. Stella whines about not being able to get down the fabric she wants. Kenley knocks it down with one arm. Tim Gunn looks at Stella as if she is retarded. The designers are taken back to Parsons and given a DVF look-book and told to “use it thoughtfully” by Tim. Kenley is still crying. Diane Von Furstenberg is one of her favorite designers and she is overwhelmed. She’s just so glad to be here.
Back in the room, everyone is hating on Terri. They think she makes the same pants every week and no one likes the fireworks fabric she chose. Stella reveals her true feelings about the other girls saying of Leanne, “You’re making a dress. Okay, great. I don’t care.” Tell us how you really feel, dear Stella. Leanne, in the meantime, is being really silly, running around acting like she’s a secret agent, specifically, “Secret Agent, Leannimal.” Terri and Korto seem over it all. Kenley is still crying. At this point in the show, I’ve figured it out. The women have not gone crazy. The women have synced up. Mark my words, next week they’ll be back to normal!
Tim Gunn floats through to give advice, pausing to squint at Stella. He reminds her that last week she was criticised for not having a cohesive look. To this, Stella says, “I think they were clueless. I think the stylist with the over-sized mu-mu-dress and the waistband (Rachel Zoe) didn’t know any better.” I’d like to see a Stella versus Rachel Zoe cage fight. Mu-mus and leather flying. Awesome.
The runway show kicks off and we are introduced to yet another Nina Garcia replacement. This time, it’s Fern Mallis, and, of course, Diane Von Furstenberg is also judging. My Hate List is fully loaded this week, including: Joe, Suede, Terri, Stella, Jerell, and Blayne. My Love List is: Leanne, Korto and Kenley. The judges, for once, completely agree with me. The highest scores go to: Kenley, Leanne and Korto and the lowest go to: Joe, Suede and Stella. Kenley is still crying.
Of our lowest, the judges thought Joe’s design seemed thrown together. Diane said it “looked homemade” and Heidi dubbed it “messy”. Ouch. Suede’s long dress and vest combo confused the judges. Fern Mallis said “the herringbone completely throws me off,” (me too, Fern!) and one of the judges (can’t remember who, my head was still swimming from Tyra-bot on America’s Next Top Model) said it was like she got dressed in the dark. I think it was Kors. Sounds like Kors, right? Our girl Stella offended the judges the most. Her pantsuit and cape screamed “Dracula” to Diane Von Furstenberg. Kors said it was “more Transylvania than Shanghai.” Stella was sent home to her man, Ratbones. We’ll miss her and her “letha”. At least she was interesting.
Now for our top scorers! Korto’s black, white and yellow dress wowed the judges. Heidi said “all the pieces were interesting.” I rarely want to jump through the screen and steal something but I needed Korto’s jacket! Kenley’s dress pleased the judges. Diane said, “I like this dress. It’s simple, it’s pretty.” It must’ve made Kenley cry even harder when the judges proclaimed that if she’d made one other piece it would’ve been a home run. So, Leanne won it for the second week in a row, even though she had immunity. Her gorgous blue dress and cropped jacket excited all the judges. Heidi said it was “new and different.” Kors said there was “lots of design there.” Indeed.
What a week. All I can think is that the judges went by body of work instead of judging just this challenge or else Joe would’ve been packing. But, he did win the pink sailor suit challenge a couple of weeks ago so maybe they spared him for that? Maybe they wanted to keep another dude around? I don’t know but I think it’s going to be an all girl finale.
And, yes, Kenley’s still crying.
*Project Runway is on Wednesday nights at 9 on Bravo.
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