I’ve figured out why this season of Project Runway is a snore.  There was not one Pisces contestant on screen this entire time.  Not one!  Wow.  The producers really should’ve thought this through at casting.  How can you have a hit show about something creative like design without casting at least one fish?  Come on!  Head to any art school or theatre department in this country in March and it’s one big birthday party.

Yes, folks, this week’s episode was all about astrology.  Yay!  Straight off, Heidi says there are some “special guests”, who turn out to be this season’s eliminated designers in their full glory.  Terri might not miss Stella but she won’t get a chance because there Stella is again, on the runway with Keith, Emily and all the rest of the contestants that have already bitten the fashion dust this season.  Each of our still-competing designers will be paired with an eliminated contestant.  Together, they will create an avant garde look inspired by the astrological sign of one member of the team.  Great challenge idea.  Would’ve have been even greater if they weren’t all Sagittarius.

So, our designers have no say in their immediate future and are paired up by Tim Gunn.  The duos break down as follows:  (I’ve taken the liberty of looking up the pairings to see if they are an astrological match with the help of the peeps at Starlight Astrology.)

• Korto (Aquarius) + Kelli (Cancer) = astrological meh.
• Kenley (Aquarius) + Wesley (Scorpio) = astrological shrug.
• Joe (Aries) + Daniel (Sagittarius) = astrological awesomeness.
• Leanne (Libra) + Emily (Scorpio) = astrological no no.
• Blayne (Libra) + Stella (Scorpio) = astrological no no.
• Terri (Sagittarius) + Keith (Leo) = astrological goodness.
• Jarell (Sagittarius) + Jennifer (Taurus) = astrological yawn.
• Suede (Sagittarius) + Jerry (Libra) = astrological mess.

So, the teams are intact.  Instead of leaving it up to the stars, our designers begin to stress out on each other.  Terri starts getting even more cocky.  When Keith asks what he can do to help, Terri is unwilling to give him a real job.  “Maybe he can count the pins that fall on the floor,” she tells camera.  Meanwhile, Leanne is busy rolling her eyes at Kenley’s bravado, calling her “beyond annoying.”  This does not escape Kenley’s attention.  “I’m just having fun and some girls don’t like that,” Kenley says.  Hmm…maybe.

Tim Gunn makes his prerequisite pit stop and tells the contestants what sucks and what rocks.  His take on Jarell’s garment?  It’ll either win or be a disaster.  Okay, Tim Gunn.  Tim is not so positive about Kenley’s frock, calling it “Glenda the good witch of the North.”  To Terri and Keith, Tim pointedly says, “I hope this is a good synergy between the two of you.”  There is an uncomfortable silence afterwards, during which I am wondering if someone told Tim to ask them that or if Tim Gunn is psychic as well as fashionable.  Tim bails when Terri and Keith’s silence spills over into a quickly escalating cat fight.  “You have to make it work,” he mumbles and he’s out of there.

The designers arrive at Parsons the next morning and receive an invitation to a party at the American Museum of Natural History that evening at 8:00, where they are asked to bring their models wearing their designs.  The invitation also reveals that two designers will be eliminated.  Drama! Tim Gunn further piles on the pressure by telling our stressed-out contestants that there will be no more immunity from this point on.  When our gang arrives at the Planetarium, they are greeted by Heidi as well as Project Runway All Stars from previous seasons such as last season’s winner, Christian, along with Jay, Daniel, Carmen and Kara to name a few.  Sensing a theme here?  A party, of sorts, ensues.  The old designers will vote for the winner of the challenge so the shmoozing is at a level of grossness I’m not altogether comfortable with.  Let’s skip to the runway!

Nina Garcia is back.  Yay!  I’ve missed her so.  The guest judge is Francisco Costa, the Women’s Director of Calvin Klein.  My Hate List includes:  Blayne, Kenley, Terri, Jarell and Suede.  The Love List goes:  Korto, Joe and Leanne.  The old designers only partly agree with me.  Korto, Joe, Leanne and Jarell are given the highest scores.  The designers chose Jarell’s Sagittarius design to win the challenge, which shocked me but there’s probably a reason that they are fashion designers and I am a writer, right?  I guess it was chic and avant garde!

So, the lowest are Kenley, Blayne, Terri and Suede.  The judges felt that Kenley and Wesley’s Aquarius dress didn’t have anything to do with the zodiac.  They also thought she was stubborn and defensive.  “Suede and Jerry chose Libra,” Suede told the judges.  “Suede didn’t want to take it too crazy,” which was too bad because the judges thought it was a snooze fest.  Nina called it “boring” and Francisco thought it was “tacky.”  Kors thought Suede’s third-person speak was “self-delusional.”  But, Blayne and Terri were apparently not having an auspicious evening.  Blayne and Stella’s Libra onesie was called “haphazard” and a “one-legged monster” by Nina.  Kors said, the model is “pooping fabric.”  Gross.  Terri and Keith’s Leo dress was dubbed “overall cheap” by Nina.  Kors said that Terri’s taste “flew out the window” and that the model looked like a “voodoo princess in hell.”  Terri and Blayne were sent home.

I really think this might be a tragedy.  I was already bored with Terri, although I do like some of her designs.  But, I’m not sure I can sit through the rest of the season without Blayne.  I need him and his snarky comments to see me through.  The best part of this whole episode was when Christian and Jay graced us with their presence, even if it was only for five minutes.  Now I’m rooting full-force for Korto and I’m crossing my fingers for a better season next time.  More Pisces = less boredom.  Trust me.

*Disclaimer~ Yes, I’m a Pisces.  But, it’s still true.

*Project Runway is on Wednesday nights at 9 on Bravo.

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