Finally, they’ll have to hang up and drive.

On Monday, the new hands-free cell phone driving law went into effect in the hopes of once and forever prying the cell phones from the hands of annoying motorists. Now, yakking drivers face the fear of a fine for phoning their friends while on the freeway, and it isn’t a moment too soon.

But why stop there? The cell phone motorist is just one of many types of irritating drivers that need banned forevermore. Here are six more types of drivers against whom the law needs to take action, and their recommended punishments.

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Last Tuesday our favorite stars collided for the 2008 BET Awards Show at the Shrine Auditorium here in the heart of LA. While I could focus on the best dressed or the performances that had us texting our friends to make sure they were watching, I’d rather focus on another issue of much greater importance. I consider it my civic duty to address what appears to be a terrifying trend emerging among my people, and must be stopped at all costs: sensible women sporting haircuts apparently inspired by Dora the Explorer.

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While you’re out enjoying the fireworks, many of your animals will be thinking it’s WWIII tonight. Fireworks can be heard, scene and smelt by animals far away. Often the 4th of July causes much undo stress for all these little critters. Do NOT be one of those people who brings their poor dog to the fireworks and is then surprised when it starts freaking out. For those of you who need to be hit over the head with some advice, here are some tips to follow:

1. Leave your dogs at home! Do not take them with you. Fireworks are not fun for animals.
2. Make sure that you bring them inside before the fireworks begin. Close as many doors as possible to help hide the noise.
3. If your pet has a safe bed, room, or other place, make sure that they have access to it. If they don’t have one, try and make one. It should be on far from any windows that is comfortable.
4. It is preferable that you stay at home with your animals and give it support. After all you’ll all it has, be a good pet parent.
5. If you do go out, leave the radio or TV on so that they have something else to listen to than “Bam BOOM!!!”

Photo by It’s Greg

There is a drug in America that is legal, one that can both jack up your persuasive spirits and protect you against any doubts.

Laguna Beach, CA — I admit my thinking becomes intense at times. It’s not my fault. The coffee they serve here at Laguna Beach works wonders. Just the right formula…transforms a regular, stable guy like me into a psychic mess.

I come here to write my next novel. The café’s patrons are an eclectic community. Surfers hardly dressed, listening to iPod songs. Bikers stop here on their hog rides from beach to beach. College co-eds hang out here, wearing their pants below the top of their beautifully tanned bottoms clad in colorful thongs. Even the eternal mermaids come to sip the Nicaraguan Nectar, singing each to each.

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If you’ve landed on this post expecting a recap of the winners, speakers and honorees of the 50th Annual Southern California Journalism Awards Gala, then you’ve come to the wrong place. That information can be easily accessed through their website. I was all set to recap the evening when a series of unfortunate events prevented me from doing so.

Instead, I am here to tell you that for an organization whose main purpose is to honor ‘working journalists,’ the Los Angeles Press Club (LAPC) has quite a horrible way of treating them.

This might be a sweeping generalization of the whole of the club, so let’s focus in on the culprit: a Miss Diana Ljungaeus, the executive director of the LAPC and self-proclaimed “international journalist” with a chip on her shoulder and “rude” as her middle name.

The night began simply enough. LA.CityZine was invited as press to cover the So Cal Journalism Awards Gala at the Millennium Biltmore Hotel in Downtown Los Angeles. I should have known the night was going to be a bust when right before I began to get ready, the electricity spontaneously combusted for about 2 hours. Stuck in 105 degree weather, and forced to dress up, all the while driving in traffic to Downtown was not an ideal way to spend a Saturday, however I mustered up the energy to attend an event that honored everything I had a passion for: Southern California and Journalism.

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The calamitous LA Unified School District has been fodder for the news for several years now. Despite all the negative press, they’ve done little to improve their reputation or competency. It’s no wonder so many of their schools are being turned into charter schools and that parents are seeking alternatives such as educating their children privately or through homeschooling.

Now they’ve made front page news again, with a story illustrating their continued waste of state funding. In a front page story entitled, “L.A. Unified schools won’t lack for space,” in the Los Angeles Times dated Monday June 23rd, the school district states they are continuing to build schools despite falling enrollment. Because of the loss of students, these schools and extra classrooms currently being built will most likely stay empty.

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Summer officially started June 20th, and I am definitely in that mentality. It seems like the only things we can do to escape the heat are find A/C, get ice cream, and go swimming.

I’ve always been a fan of the Beach Boys. I mean, it’s hard not to be. Who can resist those harmonizing lyrics about cars, surfing, and (for the guys) girls? This week’s Perfect Playlist is a dedication to the Beach Boys. When you’re driving down the PCH, just remember - these guys were doin’ it wayyy before you.

Here are some Beach Boys songs to start your summer off right!

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First of all, thank you to all of the amazing cafes that competed in our coffee competition. We sought out the best coffee shop Los Angeles and found a number of astounding cafes all over the city. Every single one of the cafe’s listed in our coffee competition is a great place to visit for amazing atmosphere, talented Batista’s and of course, a great cup of coffee. We decided the only way to judge who has the best cafe in Los Angeles was to ask the people. And although many of you love your own cafe, there can only be one winner. The people have spoken. Our winner is….

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It’s time to stop. It’s time to stop the TV on DVR spoiler madness.

This scenario occurred at my office this week. A co-worker and myself were reminiscing about this past season of “Lost” when another person joined into the conversation. As the discussion turned to the season finale, her fingers shot into her ears like she was standing next to space shuttle. At the same instant she shouted, “Don’t tell me, I have it on my TiVo!” and scuttled off like a scared dog.

It was insanity. The “Lost” season final aired on May 29th. That was three weeks ago! Go watch it already. It’s not that hard. It takes 90 minutes.

But no, instead she preferred to run across the office with her hands in her like a four-year-old who thinks his mom’s punishment isn’t real if he can’t hear her. It’s ridiculous, but something we’ve all encountered in the DVR era.

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Sunday was more like Memorial Day. Father’s Day calls my father to mind, but WWII was one of the most defining events in his life.

Just a farm boy from Nebraska, hardly 18-years-old, he served in the Army’s 89th Division and shipped out for the third wave of landings onto the shores of Normandy.

He saw a lot of action. Carrying a high quality German camera, he took a lot of pictures of the war. None of them pretty.

When he returned home, he had a lot of shrapnel embedded in his flesh. Many years later, when he’d started a family, contributing to the baby boom, he had to go to the VA hospital several times to take some of those pieces of metal out from under his skin as they began to resurface.

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…And I’m not talking about Bette Midler.

I’m a c-word.

Not that c-word. I’m a Christian, which nowadays generates a response similar to the one I imagine I would receive if I announced that I host Klan rallies and dogfights in my backyard.

Perhaps I’m exaggerating a bit, but it’s no secret that those who profess allegiance to organized religion are increasingly considered social pariahs. For the most part, I completely understand the disdain; throughout history people have committed some of the most atrocious crimes against humanity in the name of religion.

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It’s almost time! As of tomorrow at 5:01pm, same sex couples will FINALLY be allowed to be legally married in California. So, some of you may want to know… What are the new rules for gay marriage? What do they say at the marriage? When, how, where, can same sex couples get married? Have no fear. Here is a list of ten of the most commonly asked questions of gay marriage.

1. The marriage commissioner will now say: “By virtue of the authority vested in me, as a Deputy Commissioner of Marriages for the County of XXX, I now pronounce this couple united in marriage under the laws of the state of California.”
2. If you’ve had a civil union in another state you are considered unmarried and therefore you can now get married in California now.
3. There is no waiting period between when you get the marriage license and when you get married.
4. 5:01 p.m. Monday, June 16th, is the earliest gay couples will be allowed to get married. San Francisco and Los Angeles counties will issue one marriage license each Monday night to a designated couple to commemorate the ruling.
5. If you are a member of the military, marrying or attempting to marry a person of the same sex is grounds for dismissal from the service. Apparently you can fight for your country, but not marry who you want. Who knew! [ Read The Full Story -> ]