What do you get when you mix Will Ferrell and basketball (or for that matter anything) together? I tell you what you get, a fun movie experience. Will Ferrell keeps hitting the funny bone of America. Semi-Pro is a riot from beginning to end. The song “Love Me Sexy” during the intro is hilarious and a great way to begin the flick. But, Semi-Pro isn’t just funny, it also teaches team work and other morals, you just won’t really be thinking about that while your laughing.

Jackie Moon (Ferrell) is a player, promoter and owner of the ABA Flint Tropics, which he bought with the money from his popular song Love Me Sexy. With the ABA losing money and fan base, the league decides to merge with the ever popular and growing NBA. Problem is only the 4 teams (Spurs, Nuggets, Nets and Pacers) with the biggest upside get to merge with the NBA and the other teams are done for.

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There are certain things that need to be taken care of when putting together a film. Here are a few examples. The story has to be somewhat decent. Everyone needs to be on the same page as to avoid confusion. The director needs to have both a excellent cinematographer and editor. Lastly, you need to have an actor that can carry the film. Jumper has most of this going for it, except this last piece. So without further delay, let the scrutiny begin.

**Warning - A couple small spoilers**

For those of you just interested in the plot, it limps along like so. Boy likes girl, but he’s a loser. Boy discovers he has the power to teleport. Boy leaves small town and uses his power to visit exotic locals and steal money from banks. Time passes, boy grows tired of eccentric lifestyle and returns home to seek out girl. Bad guys appear, one of whom happens to be (gasp) his own mother. Just for good measure there is another boy with powers like his own who isn’t quite willing to buddy up. Sorry to be so blunt, but that’s the way the film plays out. This movie could have, should have, and would have been great. Here is why it wasn’t.

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Somewhere in America, there’s a group of film school graduates crying. Not because their movie didn’t get selected for Sundance; but because some executive took the time and effort to greenlight a piece of crap. Meet the Spartans, is that crap.

Even with it’s various takes on spoofing movies, celebrities, and product placement; I counted twenty seven, “Meet the Spartans” fails to deliver on the laughs. The plot, if there is one, is a knock off of last year surprise hit, “300.” Granted, there are a few chuckles here and there. My particular favorite involved one with Ugly Betty. However, you can see these one liners coming a mile away, and most of them should have stayed there. The gags get old very quickly, and most go on for far to long.

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Somewhere in America, there’s a group of film school graduates crying. Not because their movie didn’t get selected for Sundance; but because some executive took the time and effort to greenlight a piece of crap. Meet the Spartans, is that crap.

Even with it’s various takes on spoofing movies, celebrities, and product placement; I counted twenty seven, “Meet the Spartans” fails to deliver on the laughs. The plot, if there is one, is a knock off of last year surprise hit, “300.” Granted, there are a few chuckles here and there. My particular favorite involved one with Ugly Betty. However, you can see these one liners coming a mile away, and most of them should have stayed there. The gags get old very quickly, and most go on for far to long.

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I am not a “family film” or “animal film” fan. I prefer action adventure, blow ‘em up, chase ‘em around kind of movies. So when my neighbors’ kids gave me the DVD “Firehouse Dog” I put it aside to watch “later”. I didn’t really think about it again until just recently. I happened to be in Petco and was talking to a guy who brought it up. He started telling me about the background of the movie and that it was made to honor a pooch named Rosebud.

The movie wasn’t about Rosebud’s life or anything like that. The filmmaker simply wanted a tribute to a very special dog. In looking for the right project they didn’t want a “talking dog” movie or anything like that, just a really special dog story. “Firehouse Dog” became that story. I decided to dust off the DVD and take a look this weekend.

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I am not a “family film” or “animal film” fan. I prefer action adventure, blow ‘em up, chase ‘em around kind of movies. So when my neighbors’ kids gave me the DVD “Firehouse Dog” I put it aside to watch “later”. I didn’t really think about it again until just recently. I happened to be in Petco and was talking to a guy who brought it up. He started telling me about the background of the movie and that it was made to honor a pooch named Rosebud.

The movie wasn’t about Rosebud’s life or anything like that. The filmmaker simply wanted a tribute to a very special dog. In looking for the right project they didn’t want a “talking dog” movie or anything like that, just a really special dog story. “Firehouse Dog” became that story. I decided to dust off the DVD and take a look this weekend.

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First, let me say that as a film critic I have a difficult job. Especially when one enjoys the cinema. Which of course begs the question, why would you be a film critic if you didn’t? My point being, there’s an obligation to tell the truth about what was seen and give you an honest opinion. So it is with a sad face and lightened wallet that this review begins.

Once again, it appears that those silly previews have done me in. You expect so much and then, Wham! Congratulations, you’ve just been had. Such is the case in “Cassandra’s Dream.” With heavy hitters like Colin Farrell, Ewan McGregor, Tom Wilkinson, and director Woody Allen at the helm, surely something good would come of it right? Nope.

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First, let me say that as a film critic I have a difficult job. Especially when one enjoys the cinema. Which of course begs the question, why would you be a film critic if you didn’t? My point being, there’s an obligation to tell the truth about what was seen and give you an honest opinion. So it is with a sad face and lightened wallet that this review begins.

Once again, it appears that those silly previews have done me in. You expect so much and then, Wham! Congratulations, you’ve just been had. Such is the case in “Cassandra’s Dream.” With heavy hitters like Colin Farrell, Ewan McGregor, Tom Wilkinson, and director Woody Allen at the helm, surely something good would come of it right? Nope.

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The film is causing quite a stir among the female population in LA. The audience is glued to the screen sobbing, some loudly, some quietly not for the neighbor to see how vulnerable and romantic you actually are. I saw it on a Friday night, not the night you want to watch anything that even remotely reminds you that you don’t have that special one by your side.

Throughout the movie, I kept asking myself a question (actually I wanted to ask my neighbors in the audience as well, but they were too involved in their tears) – does this love exist or is it a fiction and the screenwriters just want us to see what we are missing? If this is the case, then it is plainly mean of them to plant a hopeful and romantic seed and then take us on a road of relationship disappointments.

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I just saw Lust, Caution. I love 1940’s espionage films and really enjoy all of Ang Lee’s films and expected to love this, but there was no love to be had in this film. Coming out of the theater I was shocked. If his purpose was to produce emotion, he has. Unfortunately for me the emotions were repulsed and terrified. The violence gives Eastern Promises and No Country for Old Men a run for it’s money, and the graphic sex scenes would make Brokeback Mountain blush. It is so graphic it hurts physically to watch. You almost want some distance from the characters. The entire film tries to make you feel the pain they feel. What its like to stab someone, what its like to be used, beaten, raped, what it’s like to feel all sorts of pain. The movie puts a hole in my stomach. If I’m completely honest I’ll need to sit on this for a while, right now it’s just too much.

I was able to notice that the acting was amazing, in a disgustingly realistic way. Ang Lee I believe has succeeded in this film, the images are beautiful, while the content is disturbing, and there is no doubt that I left the theater with it stuck not only in my head but in my entire body. It’s not one that you can easily shake off, although you may wish you could.

Photo by Collider.com

I am beginning to question whether or not I like musicals. In the last few years we have had several that were extremely popular, and I did not like any of them.

First was Chicago, an adaptation of the Broadway hit, over hyped, and definitely not worthy of an Academy Award for Best Picture in the same year as the Pianist, the Hours, and the Gangs of New York. Next was even worse, Dreamgirls. If not for Eddie Murphy the film would have been unbearable musically and dramatically. It too was well received and again I did not get it.

Now comes Tim Burton’s adaptation of Sweeny Todd: The Demon Barber of Fleet Street, and once again, I don’t get it.

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Hot damned, was I looking forward to seeing this movie. When I first saw the announcement, the book cover alone got me all riled up.

And then the teasers came out?

Man, I was pumped. Deep down inside I knew it would probably be dumb, but I also wanted to just embrace the bad for the sake of having fun.

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