This summer, the pickings are slim but how’s the quality? Are the summer’s new shows awesome or embarrassing? Vote for one or leave us a comment and tell us who we forgot!

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*photo by tati_roza via flickr.

“Yeeeeeeeee haaawwww pard’ner; is ya’ll ready for week two of the rootin tootin reality round up? So, brothers and sisters, it worked! My mantra, “pray with me brothers and sisters for Celebrity Rehab 2″ worked because my sources tell me that Celebrity Rehab goes back into production on Monday the 9^th.  Amen!

But now, it’s back to reality.

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There are times when you don’t want ‘good’ television.  You want mindless tv.  Let’s say you are, I don’t know, hungover or folding laundry or recovering from the flu.  You don’t want to keep up with an intricate plot so a show like Battlestar Gallactica or Criminal Minds is out.  You don’t have the tolerance for the latest Bachelorette and Access Hollywood is not going to happen with that headache.  What to watch?

You need something interesting but mindless.  Something you can half-pay attention to and still get what’s going on.  I have some ideas.  Stock your Tivo with these bad boys and you’ll never fold socks while watching that same Law & Order episode again!

• Keeping Up With The Kardashians  ~  Yes, really.  This might be the most formulaic , non-realistic reality show on tv.  But, the family is pretty likable (particularly sisters Khloe and Kourtney) and it’s entertaining without sucking you in.  You can watch one or two of these with an alcohol-numbed brain and still not care if you miss the rest of the season.  Perfect for the morning (or afternoon) after a bender. (E!)

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Today marks the launch of Planet Green Network, the first and only eco-lifestyle television network. The new network boasts over 250 hours of original green programming that promises to be entertaining rather than preachy.

The new network will replace Discovery Home, therefore claiming a built-in audience right off the bat. A schedule packed with celebrities should help score new viewers. Stars such as Tommy Lee, Ludacris, Tom Bergeron and Adrian Grenier are all pitching in to make the fledgling channel a success. Eileen O’Neill, president of Planet Green, promises more “Eco-tainment” than lectures. Sounds good, right? Well, let’s check out the schedule….

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Yeeeeeeeee-haaawwww pard’ner, is ya’ll ready for week two of the rootin-tootin reality round up? Summer reality television really is worse than ever and in this week’s segment I’m calling a dawg, a dog. So again this week, pray with me for Celebrity Rehab 2. Oh, back to “reality”.

First up, FOX summer staple, the hip to the hop, not even trendy, it sucks really; hosted by Cat Deely, Star-vehicle “So You Think You Can Dance 4” or as I call it SYTUCD4:

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I know how you feel. Right now, with both excitement and horror you’re watching your favorite shows air their season finales.You want to see how they end and yet you don’t want them to end because you dread another summer of nothing good on.

It hardly seems fair, does it? With the giant strike-induced break this season, most shows had only been back for a few episodes before ending. Mucho suckage.But, don’t despair. You can fill up your DVR schedule with some new, promising programming. Hey, if they’re bad, you can just delete them and crank up your Netflix subscription for the summer. (I find that 5 at a time is too much pressure. 3 is not enough. 4 is just right. Yes, I’m the Goldilocks of freakin’ movie rentals.)

Here are my picks:

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1) Post Strike Blues.

Your favorite shows are in reruns. Michael Johns just got unjustly booted from American Idol. Someone told you that the NHL Playoffs are on right now, but you think that’s just an unfounded rumor (does the NHL still actually exist? Can anyone confirm or deny?)

Sounds like the perfect time to go rent BBC’s 6-part miniseries “State of Play,” an absolute blast that is part thriller, part political intrigue, part melodrama, and a lot of journalistic fun. “State of Play” mostly represents everything U.S. television is not; smart, well-acted, significant, and a sense of when to call it quits.

2) It’s only 6 hours.

Unlike U.S. television, which milks series like “Prison Break” that should have ended in development but at most should have ended with season 1, those Brits know how to leave you wanting more. After “The Office” signed off after 12 episodes and one special, State of Play is a 6 hour miniseries and that’s it. No long-term commitment required, just don’t expect to stop watching after you’ve gobbled up episode 1.

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If you had the power to bring back one t.v. show for a few more seasons, what show would you pick?

If you’re a t.v. lover, you’ve surely noticed the irony. It seems like every time you fall in love with a show, it’s canceled after one or two seasons, right? I nearly cried when Showtime decided not to bring back Dead Like Me for a Season 3. I needed to know what my grim reapers were doing. I still think of them sometimes and wonder how a show that good, starring a great actor like Mandy Patinkin could be canned.

Then there’s the genius shows like Firefly, which ran for only 14 episodes but had such a huge following it sparked a movie (Serenity). Or what about Chappelle’s Show? We all know he had his reasons for calling it quits but I don’t know anyone who doesn’t want to see another season of that.

I put this question to both my mom and my husband. My husband quickly answered Freaks and Geeks, which sadly only ran 1 season, but he wavered a bit between that and Deadwood (3 seasons). My mom didn’t miss a beat before choosing The West Wing. I reminded her that it was on for 7 seasons. She didn’t care. She wants more West Wing and she wants it now.

So, what would you choose? Remember, you have the power to bring back anything, I don’t care if it’s Friends or The Smurfs. Leave a comment and state your demands!

*photo by autowitch via flickr.

If someone put a loaded gun to your head and said you had to be on a reality show, which one would you choose? Let’s face it, reality television isn’t going anywhere and chances are you personally know someone who’s been on one of the ten million seasons of Big Brother. Or, maybe your cousin’s girlfriend’s roommate knows the skinny girl from Beauty and the Geek. Reality shows have made celebrities out of bitter losers (*cough/sneeze* Omarosa) and revived waning careers (Nick & Jessica feel me). So, it’s not that far of a stretch to imagine that you could be on a reality show, especially considering how many there are out there. But, the question remains, if you had to, which one would you choose?

There’s a couple different ways of looking at the situation. Would you rather go for the program that the payoff is the greatest (American Idol) or the show that you’d have the least chance of embarrassing yourself (um…..)? Then, you also have to consider your personal health and well-being. If you’ve never been camping, it might be a stretch to assume you can cut it on Survivor without endangering your body or for that matter, your ego. Then, with a lot of shows, there’s the small matter of talent. If you can’t sew, you probably don’t want to embarrass yourself on Project Runway and if the only dancing you’ve ever done is the box step in that production of Oklahoma! in high school, So You Think You Can Dance probably isn’t for you.

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Ever wonder what is really worth watching live, what’s worth Tivo-ing and what is just not worth it at all? Well here is your list of what not to miss this week on TV!
What to Watch Live

Hell’s Kitchen (Tuesday, FOX, 9 PM)

Professional chef and jackass Gordon Ramsay brings his show back for its fourth season. Not wanting to mess with a successful formula, the show’s format is unchanged from prior seasons. The contestants will again vie to take control of the kitchen at one of Ramsay’s restaurants. The worst candidate will be eliminated each week.

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For those of you out there who don’t regularly like to watch PBS or KCET, they’re your friendly neighborhood public television stations out here in the city of angels. This past Tuesday and Wednesday night the documentary news show Frontline showcased their brand new segment entitled Bush’s War. This wonderfully insightful and also enraging program is the only film yet to truly put all the pieces together about the war in Iraq and just exactly how the entire series of events, right up till now, came to transpire.

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I’m not sure what the rest of you have been doing on Sunday nights around 9:00 PM, but I’ve been glued to HBO. The magnificent John Adams 7-part mini series has been quite possibly the best program on TV since Roots. We’re only three episodes in out of seven and so far I can hardly catch my breath. I think we can all agree that Paul Giamatti is an outstanding actor as well as Laura Linney, but their portrayals of John & Abigail Adams are truly captivating. You must watch this show.

When I think back to all the American history classes I’ve taken throughout my life I remember feeling a certain fondness for our 2^nd President Mr. John Adams. I can remember the musical 1776 where Adams railed out against the evils of slavery and the hypocrisy of seeking freedom for white Americans while the Negroes remain in bondage. Never a slave owner, Adams understood completely that people should be judged based on their accomplishments and abilities and not on their color or family heritage. I think that John Adams is one of the most under-appreciated characters in the history of our great country and I’m so thrilled that finally someone (HBO) has given his life and work their just rewards.

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